The Courier- What Your Christmas Jumper Says about You

This article was originally published in The Courier

The Countdown to Christmas has begun, and so its time for Alexa Chung and Kim K to move over and let the true style icon take his rightful place. I am, of course, talking about Ron Weasley- the king of the Christmas Jumper. Although we may not all have our very own Molly Weasley to knit us a festive jumper, that hasn’t stopped us year after year descending on Primark come December 1^st and hunting down the perfect polyester creation. But what does your Christmas jumper say about you?

Last year was all about the slogan, from the nostalgic ‘Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal’ to the ever current ‘let me take an #elfie’ and this trend is sure to continue. These jumpers let everyone know that yes, you’re very funny and yes, you’re very clever (lets ignore the fact that it was probably some balding man living in Chiswick that actually came up with the design). Festive puns will undoubtedly add some fun to your Christmas day, although some references may be lost on your gran… “You can jingle my bells” should be avoided at all costs.

If you’re looking for something a tad subtler however, many high street shops are offering a great selection of more versatile winter warmers. If you went a little hard on trebles at the start of term and as a result your student loan is starting to look worse for wear then you may want to invest in a more ambiguous sweatshirt. Winter scenes and beaded snowflakes can be worn not only in the lead up to Christmas but right through till March... or alternatively, if you’re living In Jesmond with questionable heating... till June.

"These jumpers let everyone know that yes, you’re very funny and yes, you’re very clever "

And for all those fashionistas out there, fear not - although garish colours, flashing lights and dubious designs don’t scream style, there’s plenty of less offensive options out there. For those of you who want to embrace xmas without sacrificing any chances you have of being featured on ‘spotted on campus’ the ever reliable ASOS have a huge collection of chic jumpers. Pair one of their oversized crew neck sweaters with your fave skinny jeans and some trainers and you’re good to go, if Ron can pull it off, so can you.

However, if subtly has never been your thing, then by no means let anyone hold you back. At what other time of year is it acceptable to wear a chunky knit with a protruding carrot?? Take inspo from Bridget Jones’ swoony Mark Darcy and wear you’re ugly but snuggly jumper with pride. After all, what’s cooler than being tragically uncool? Go for the bells; go for the cats and for Gods’ sake go for the glitter- when it comes to ugly sweater the limit does not exist.

Whatever jumper you decide on, make sure to don it come December 18^th for the UK’s National Christmas Jumper day. Wear your knit whilst doing your bit by donating to the Text Santa charity, meaning you can not only look great, but feel great too. Whether you’re a Ron or a Darcy, Christmas jumpers are fast becoming one of the best parts of the festive season. Love them or hate them, they are here to stay so this Christmas wear your festive concoction unapologetically and be sure to throw humbugs at all those who fail to comply.

The Courier- Halloween Hell

This article was originally published in The Courier

Get to your panic stations everybody, Halloween is nearly upon us, the race has begun to clamor for that last pair of Claire’s cat ears and the knives are out (for pumpkin carving… nobody is that desperate for cat ears).But why is it that year upon year we don some hideous polyester costume and sweat it out on Tup Tup’s dance floor? Is it time to lay down our plastic props and put Halloween where Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy went long ago?

The culmination of months of prep and papier maché all seems worth it when you’re parading your pumpkin costume down Northumberland Street, but two trebles in and the novelty’s worn off. Realistically, you’re stood at the bar, painted bright orange with a circumference of 2 meters; the chances of getting close to that hot guy giving you the eye are running slim…you are literally forced to stand a meter away from him at all times.And even if you’re externally keeping your cool, inside you will undoubtedly be burning up. Don’t even try passing of the ever intensifying heat rash crawling down your arm as ‘part of the look’… nobody’s falling for it. When November 1^st arrives, a mere pinch and punch are the least of your worries, your backcombed hair has mattified overnight and that cheap fake blood has left a permanent stain on your neck. And that’s before you’re bank statement arrives along with the realisation that for the cost of one night out you could’ve got yourself a couple of month’s gym membership, or, more realistically, ten subways.  From what you remember of the night it was too cold in the queue and too hot in the club, in fact that greasy pizza in the cab on the way home was probably the highlight.  

"Is it time to lay down our plastic props and put Halloween where Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy went long ago?"

So is this the beginning of the end for Halloween antics? Kate Hudson certainly doesn’t think so; no doubt she’ll be planning her annual party with as much fervor as every other year. Her A list guests last October included Katy Perry and Jessica Alba, who, lets be real, probably had personal stylists pick out their thousand dollar costumes.  But then again, if we were living it up in LA, we’d probably be able to feign more enthusiasm too, the sticky floors of Sinners just don’t compare. 

And that’s just the problem, for as hard as you try and as original as your costume is, when you’re in the middle of the club surrounded by  LA wannabe girls in LBDs and ‘scary’ red lipstick, a sinking feeling starts to descend on your stomach.   To quote the wise film Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging “you looked soo funny in that Olive costume!” So maybe its time to let it go and drag out your trusty trainers and jeans, I mean what’s more scary than a student that doesn’t feel the need to follow the crowd?! 

x